Sometimes a year feels longer than a year, and for my family 2025 fits snugly into that category. It was a year of polarity, where so many great and amazing things happened, along side a lot of heartbreak. When I look back on the pictures in my phone it’s, hard to believe how many things we packed into one year. But the beautiful thing that happens when you have both enjoyment and endurance is you get growth, and we had a lot of that this year.
Growth must be monitored though. Its easy to let hardship send you off in the wrong direction. Like a tree against a brick wall, you can grow up and around it, reaching for the light as you grow, or you can grow down and underneath it, suffocating against the dirt and exposing your roots to the crushing weight of the wall that was put in front of you. It took frequent self-checks, a lot of prayer, and conversations with my parents and husband to keep me growing in the right direction. I had to actively remind myself about everything positive that was happening to me and how even my hardships were endurable. It could always be worse. There could always be more pain, and its healthy to remember that and be grateful for what we have.
Gratitude Within Hardship
I’ve been quiet about this until now, but a week before I was accepted into University of California, Riverside’s amazing MFA Program, I suffered a medical accident. A simple cut on my hand turned disasterous when the medical center I sought treatment from aggressively injected the wrong chemical into the wound, damaging the nerves and tissues that controlled my pinky and ring finger all the way down to my wrist. Soon after I developed what was called “claw hand” while I fought with the medical center for treatment, and spent the fall in pain, typing one handed, attending a great deal of medical appointments, and ultimately being scheduled for surgery just after Thanksgiving, three days before I flew to my college residency.
I spent far too much time being angry and reguritating the story of what happened to me. I asked myself why God would tell me to be a writer and give me all these wins and then take away one of my hands. But the truth is, I don’t believe God took my hand. I think that when you walk into rooms like God sent you there, evil looks for opportunities to turn you away from him. It didn’t work. My faith in God and my purpose is stronger now than its ever been. I prayed for healing for my hand and the strength to write and care for my family despite the pain and disability, and my prayers were answered. It taught me humility, that I can’t choreograph every aspect of my life. It reminded me of my endurance, how if you want something bad enough you can find a way through it, and it gave me renewed appreciation for my health and the value of my physical being that requires focus and dedication to optimize for all that my life requires.
Value Based Goal Setting
My injury occured late in the year, so thankfully, I still met a lot of my goals, and the ones I didn’t quite hit are being rolled over to this next year. But this year the goal setting strategy I’m using, is to make sure my goals align with my values: family, health, faith, motherhood, creativity and intelligence. This strategy ensures each of my goals supports what I care about to keep my work and time in perspective. Even more important it keeps me from wasting time on what doesnt matter: fighting with strangers on the internet, politcal rage bait, laziness that isn’t rest and so on. I know a surprising number of people who don’t subscribe to New Years resolutions and I’m convinced that oftentimes it’s a ego thing. That they don’t set goals because they can’t handle being in the bin with everyone else who sets goals. I have no such shame and feel there is a lot of power in planning the chapter ahead of us and in reflecting on the chapter we’ve finished.
Rediscovering Old Favorites
So with that, here is a reflection of my favorite creative materials I discovered/used in 2025:
Books I kept going back to:
- The Bible
- Atomic Habits, by James Clear
- The Subtle Art of not Giving an F*, by Mark Manson
Screenplays I couldnt stop thinking about:
- Chronicle (2011) By Max Landis, Story by Max Landis & Joshua Trank
- Past Lives (2023) By Celine Song
- The Mummy (1999) By Stephen Sommers
Songs I had on repeat:
- Freeze by Kygo
- Zombie by Yungblud
- Tear in Space by Glass Animals
Apps/Applications I used frequently:
- YouVersion Bible App
- Libby
- Scrivener (use this for novels, screenplays, picture books, recipes, blog posts, all the writing things)
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